The big thing through the eyes of the little one

It has been more than a month since the kids came here, to an empty house full of boxes in every single room. The mommy´s house. We have been explaining to Greta about what was going to happen, and she quickly jumped to the simplified conclusions as only a 5 year old can do: now I will have two houses and two cars. So we had to work harder and explain deeply: mommy and daddy are not going to live together anymore, though they do care about each other. And even more important: both mommy and daddy love you and your baby brother, and always will. That was the new and strange beginning for all of us.
Through the days full of boxes, screwdrivers and furniture, it was little time to stop and think and to sorrow, there was always many things to do. But I do get a reminder from time to time when she says things like “when you and daddy lived together”, or she makes me a bead collar as she says because I no longer wear a wedding ring I need something else nice to wear.
So you realise that a five year old did understand her new reality. Every time you talk to an adult about the topic you wish they could just trust you and your decision the way she does. Instead, you just bumble something stupid in response to yet another “why”. Because now you know that the “why” is not so much important as the intention to be friends and good people with each other.
So here we are, mom and two kids in a “new” house. One day your heart melts when the neighbour girls take your daughter by the hand and take her for a walk in the neighbourhood. The day after they come again, and while she gets ready in her room, they talk to you. And here it comes:
- Where is Greta´s daddy?
At this moment you stop breathing and frenetically think, is it even right to tell other kids about our imperfect life, about how not everybody has both mom and dad under the same roof and so on. You expect another “why” and just not look forward to it. Instead, you carefully say:
- Greta´s daddy lives in another house?
And while you are still not quite ready to take your first breath, they say:
- Oh right, like our mom. Greta, are you ready to go to the playground?

And you breath out. That one was easier than you thought and worried. Later the same evening you meet their parents, nobody will ask “why” and it will suddenly be more crowded in otherwise empty living room, now with 4 kids and 3 single parents.